To Be a Friend

A few years ago I went through a lonely time in my life. Ben and I had been married for a couple of years. We were involved in a church that sucked too much time and energy from our lives. I was finishing my BFA degree and working on my B.Ed. Our finances were tight. In short, I was tired and burned out.

I longed for a true friend --- a woman who shared my values and some of my interests. I was "friendly" with many people, but I didn't have any close girl friends. My husband is, and always will be, my best friend. However, I also longed for healthy Christian female companionship.

I often prayed that God would send me a "perfect friend" --- someone who could share my struggles, who would call me up on the phone, who would think I was pretty cool to hang around with. I wanted a friend who would accept me as I was, blemishes and all.

I prayed for a year and nothing happened. If anything, life seemed harder and I became more lonely.

Then I came to a major realization: I needed to become the kind of friend I was looking for.

I think God was trying to teach me a difficult lesson. He was not going to magically drop a "perfect friend" into my life, but He had placed several women across my path that I could be a good friend to. I could be the person to share their struggles, I could call them up on the phone, I could show them that I thought they were pretty cool to hang around with. God was teaching me to be less self-centred.

The interesting thing is, as I started to work on being a good friend, God began to bring caring girl friends into my own life. Ben and I moved to a new church and I met several wonderful Christian women with children the same ages as my own. I also met a very special "online pen pal" from South Africa.

I've come to realize that I have much to learn about friendship. Because I am fairly shy and introverted, reaching out to others does not come naturally to me. I have to work up my nerve every time I pick up the phone or start up a conversation. God knows this is a weak area for me.

Therefore, I am thankful every day that God is patient as I learn to care for my friends. I now know the "perfect friend" does not exist, but I thank God that He has chosen to bless me with some very good ones.