I Am Slowly Going Crazy...

I have listened to this approximately three billion times today.  

Our four-year-old even created an original dance to go along with the song.  It involved a lot of bum wiggling (mostly in his older brother's face).  Appropriately enough, our son named his move the "Backwards Ninja". 

The Not-So Virtuoso

So I've been practicing piano again, getting ready for my next round of exams at Christmas. Let's just say ... it's been a loooooong time since I've seriously sat at the piano. (We're talking years). The fingers, they are slow. I'm totally out of shape.

So I pulled out Hanon's trusty piano exercises for "the virtuoso pianist". If those babies can't whip my fingers into shape, I don't know what will. (Groan.)

While our youngest kids nap in the afternoon, our five-year-old takes a "quiet time" on our bed. He's a creature of habit and likes his own space, so this actually works very well. I've been playing piano while all the kids rest. This afternoon our son commented on my new practice regime.

"Hey Mommy! I really liked your piano playing!"

"Thanks, Buddy."

"You know what part I liked the best?"

"No. What?"

"The really fast part, right at the beginning! All the notes in a row!"

Our son wasn't interested in the fun stuff --- the children's songs I've been learning for my exam. Nope. He was into the heavy stuff. He liked the Hanon, all those scales and finger exercises.

What a crazy, crazy kid.

Too Cool

My geeky husband totally rocks. He set the Wonder Pets theme song as the ring tone for my cell phone!

CD of the Week

Inspired by this post, our family picked up the Barenaked Ladies' new kids CD. Do you think our five-year-old could learn the Crazy Alphabet song by the time he starts kindergarten in the fall? The Barenaked Ladies surely represent kooky Canadiana at its best.

And That's Why I Married Him

My dear husband has worked the past two days straight (without any sleep in between). He went back to the office yesterday after supper and, with the exception of a quick shower this morning, did not return until supper time tonight.

(When Ben is very tired he gets a wee bit emotional.)

My husband called at about four this afternoon to share that he was sitting at his desk, sobbing his eyes out. He had just purchased Steven Curtis Chapman's latest CD and was listening to the music on his computer.

Apparently, Cinderella was a bit too much for him :-).

The Grand Master Plan

I have been asked the following question fairly often lately: What do I plan to do with myself when all the kids are in school during the day?

Considering our fourth baby is still pre-born, I have a few years ahead of me to prepare! As well, I know that my plans should be flexible and are subject to God's will.

I do have a plan, though :-).

Through my university years and into early motherhood I taught piano lessons part-time. It was a great job. I love teaching kids (and adults) and I love the piano. I also appreciate the flexibility of working for myself, setting my own hours, and developing my own lesson plans.

Eventually Ben and I plan to move into a larger home. (Within the next three or four years.) We hope to buy a home with an office/den space that I can convert into my own piano studio. In the past, I traveled to my students' homes to teach lessons. I look forward to having my very own studio space!

For the past couple of years I've been working on my ARCT diploma in piano. I've completed two of the required exams so far. I'm hoping to take my third exam in August and the fourth in December. The biggest challenge, my ARCT performance exam, will take at least two more years of study I think.

I may not have my own piano studio for another five or six years, but I am already planning and dreaming about it. I'm slowly working toward my goal of finishing my ARCT diploma and joining the Alberta Registered Music Teacher's Association. I know my plan is in God's hands :-).

That said, my husband is chiding me for not doing my music homework this evening. It's time to turn off my computer and hit the books!

Try, Try Again

I like to feel competent. God has graciously given me many gifts, and most of the time I learn things quickly and easily. I don't often fail. (Which can be a mixed blessing.)

The past few days been tough on my ego.

I am learning to sew and have tackled a couple of new projects. Let's just say ... progress has been slow. My seam ripper is seeing lots of action! As it turns out, my multi-talented husband is better at reading patterns than I am. (Thanks, for your help, honey.)

I have also been preparing to take a music exam. Unfortunately, tonight's music lesson was less than stellar. I came away from the class with instructions to redo several hours worth of work. How frustrating! Just when I thought I understood the material!

What am I learning through all this? I am discovering that mistakes are great teachers. For example, I'm learning how to properly sew ribbing and how to follow a simple pattern. (In minute detail!) I'm learning that clever, complicated solutions to a musical problem are not always the best solutions. I'm also learning that "nothing ventured means nothing gained."

My ego is feeling bruised tonight, but I think I'll live. I am trying to take risks and try new things. So what if everything doesn't work out perfectly the first time?

That's what true learning is all about.

What I'll Be Singing in My Sleep ...

I enjoy sleeping and I especially like dreaming. My dreams are suprisingly vivid but they're seldom scary or disturbing. As well, my dreams are always accompanied by a musical soundtrack. (I am not making this up.)

I've often wished I could specifically remember the music in my dreams. It's so real and bright when I'm sleeping, but I'll open my eyes and the music always fades away into silence. It's so disappointing. Some rare nights I wake up with a theme still running though my head. I think to myself, "There's no way I'll forget that in the morning," but I sadly always do.

Today my three-year-old son sang the same cute, little ditty. All. Day. Long. It went something like this...

Three little speckled frogs, sitting on a speckled log.
Eating lots of delicious bugs.
Yum! Yum! Yum!

That song has wormed its way into my brain, and for the life of me, I can't shake it out. My dreams tonight will be populated by speckled frogs. No doubt about it.

But at least I'll have an entertaining soundtrack to go along with them.

The Test

"The time is two o'clock. You may now open your exam booklet."

Dear God, please help me to do my best. Help me to remember everything I've studied.

Question one ...

Okay. I can do this. This should be easy.

(A few minutes later)

That section was easy! I totally rocked the fugue. Full marks, baby! I must be a genius! Oh yeah! I'm going to do awesome on this exam. Totally awesome.

(Flip the page)

Oh *&%^@. I'm in trouble now.

(Flip the page)

Uhhh ... maybe I'll just come back to this section.

(Flip the page)

What on God's green earth is an enharmonic polychord?!

(Flip the page)

Is this even English???!

(Flip the page)

"You have 5 minutes left to finish your exam."

Dear God. Please help me to at least finish this blasted thing. Help me to push through these last few minutes. Dear Lord, help me to survive!

"Time's up. Please hand in your papers."

(Puff, puff, wheeze, gasp) I did it. I can't belive I made it through. Thank you, Lord! It's finally over!

"Please hand in your exam paper. Now."

"Sorry, Sir. I'm coming. I really am ... Just give me a minute to scrape my brain up off the floor."

As Ready As I'll Ever Be

I guess I feel ready.

Tomorrow I'll be writing the second of five exams toward my ARCT diploma in piano. This exam covers music analysis. (Neapolitan chords, anyone? They're delicious.)

I've tried to study diligently all week, so we'll see how it goes tomorrow. My only concern is in actually finishing the exam. I'm not certain I'll have the fortitude to answer all the questions before my brain turns into a puddle.

If at First You Don't Succeed ...

"Well, I wouldn't say that is the best choice," my music teacher diplomatically stated.

I sat on the wooden piano bench, shoulders haunched. I had been on my feet all day, cooking food, cleaning the house and chasing after three active children. It was nearly 10pm and I was in no mood to analyse fugues or write introvertible counterpoint.

"What would you suggest?" I quietly asked as I reached for my well-loved eraser.

My teacher paused. "You know," she said, "In Russia my teachers often used the following phrase..." She rattled off a sentence in Russian, "It means something like this: 'You must learn from your mistakes'."

I sighed and stared at my music homework. The page was a mess of scribbles, eraser smudges and chicken scratch. For someone who claimed to be a piano teacher, my understanding of harmony and counterpoint was depressingly meager. I removed my glasses and rubbed the bridge of my nose.

"Okay," I said, "Let's start again at the beginning..."

.....................

My music lessons this year have been a humbling experience, to say the least. Every Tuesday night I steel myself for an onslaught of (honest) criticism. I can't remember the last time I have felt so academically inept. Has bearing children caused my brain to turn to jello? Some days I wonder.

This year God has been teaching me an important truth: A wise woman learns from her mistakes. As well, a humble woman can admit she doesn't know everything and is willing to learn and grow. God is working on my pride. Ouch!

In the past, I was often afraid to try new things because I was scared to fail. I am now learning that I don't need to be perfect. I can try and fail, learn from my mistakes, and try again. Learning is a process. Whether I am making a pie or writing a fugue, I must swallow my pride and be willing to mess up a few times. What's the worst that could happen?

I sit here tonight nursing my bruised pride once again. Why do I even bother taking music lessons? God is molding and stretching me. I'll likely not use seventeenth century counterpoint for any practical purposes. The life-lessons I am learning, however, are priceless.

Point / Counterpoint

I have been taking counterpoint classes in music for a month now. These classes are a requirement for my ARCT diploma in piano. My goal is to take my Grade 4 Counterpoint exam in May (if I can be ready in time).

The thing is, I'm learning that I have a lot to learn. It has been ten years since I took my last music theory class. Though I have a solid foundational knowledge of theory, I have forgotten the more advanced principals of music harmony. This is a problem! I understand intuitively how to complete my counterpoint exercises (I know what sounds and looks right) but I don't comprehend why I should do things a certain way. I need to review the basics.

My teacher is a real mover --- she likes to press forward and cover a ton of material each class. I need to slow her down! I understand what she is teaching, but she's going too fast! This week I decided not to do the exercises she assigned to me. Instead, I am reviewing music harmony. It makes no sense for me to learn new material if I don't remember the foundational theory on which it is based.

So for the rest of tonight I will be slogging through my harmony workbook. Hopefully, my rusty brain will remember some of this stuff!

An Easy / Hard Decision

For the past year I have been taking lessons toward completing my ARCT diploma in piano. I had intended to continue the lessons in September. I found a new piano teacher a few months ago and made arrangements for the fall.

However, I am discovering that life with three little children is full, to say the least. I can't imagine where I will find the time to squeeze an hour or more of piano practice into every day. At the moment it is all I can do to keep up with the minimum requirements for running our household.

Therefore, I have come to a disappointing, but necessary, decision. I must put my family first. Last week I phoned my piano teacher to discuss my overly ambitious plans for the fall. She understood my position completely, thank goodness. She also made an interesting proposal.

My teacher suggested that I work on completing one theory requirement for the ARCT diploma. It is called Counterpoint. The class would require one 45 minute lesson per week, and about two hours of homework. I would also write an exam next May.

I like the idea of taking Counterpoint in the fall. I would still be making (slow) progress toward my goal of completing the ARCT diploma. I think I can find 2 3/4 hours per week to squeeze out of my schedule. I also like my new teacher. (She actually taught me theory classes about ten years ago, and we already know one and another.) I would hate to lose contact with her again.

So, for now I will forgo hours of piano practice. I will miss my time at the piano. Hopefully, I will find a moment or two to play once in a while. At least I will keep my fingers in music by taking Counterpoint classes in September.

Auto Pilot

Today I officially entered the "brainless" stage of late pregnancy.

I had my regularly scheduled piano lesson at nine o'clock. I have driven to the mini-mall where the music school is located countless times. This morning I backed the van out of the garage, pulled out of our condominium complex, and drove away. Only after several minutes did I realize that I was travelling in the opposite direction of the piano studio.

I sheepishly arrived a few minutes late for my lesson.

Musical Musing

I have played the piano since I was six years old. I took lessons until I was nineteen, and I taught piano for eight years. This fall I choose not to continue teaching in order to have more time for my growing family. (It turned out to be a wise decision. I found out I was pregnant again in October!)

I love practicing piano --- though it wasn't always so. Through my teenage years practicing was often more of a chore than a pleasure. I almost quit lessons a few times. Looking back, I am very glad my parents encouraged me to continue. Piano is now a part of my core identity. It is a leisure activity I enjoy. Also, my ability to teach music has equipped me with an employable skill.

This September I started taking piano lessons again for the first time in many years. I started out slowly with one lessons every two weeks. I saw it as a trial --- getting my feet wet again after many years. I wanted to see if I could find the time to commit to quality practicing.

I've been taking lessons for eight months now, and I love it! I am studying towards my ARCT Teacher's Diploma. (ARCT stands for Associate of the Royal Conservatory of Toronto). It is basically equivalent to a college diploma.

Attaining my Teacher's ARCT certificate is an ambitious goal. Most students require at least two years of study before they are ready to take the exams. I estimate I will need more like four years. The requirements for the diploma are quite daunting --- two practical exams and five written ones. (Though, I need not take them all at the same time.)

Why would I choose to do something like this?

I already had enough certification to teach piano in Alberta, but I felt that I was not the best teacher I could be. If / when I decide to start teaching again, my ARCT diploma will be very useful. But more importantly, I wanted an academic goal to work toward.

Sometimes, as much as I love being home with my children full-time, I feel like my brain is going to mush. Practicing a challenging Mozart sonata, or working out the complexities of music harmony, give me a creative outlet and identity outside of "Mommy". The greatest reason I am pursuing this diploma is for myself. It is satisfying to have a lofty goal to work towards.

Is finding time for practice a challenge? Every day! Many days I am only able to squeeze in a half-hour or forty-five minutes. Some days I can't practice at all. I often have "helpers" as I play, plunking away on the high notes. I often practice for an hour in the mornings while the boys play trucks at my feet, or they run around the living room as I try to ignore them!

However, I feel it is healthy for my children to see their mommy working towards a goal. My preschooler, especially, understands that practicing piano is "Mommy's work". He seems to enjoy listening to me play, and often makes special requests. "Mommy, can you play Baa (Bach)?" he often asks. He is very much looking forward to starting music lessons himself in the fall. Some mornings, the most wonderful ones, my boys are so mellow they will cuddle on the floor and listen to me play for more than an hour. Those are the times I love.

With the new baby coming, I am unsure how I will continue to eke out the time for piano. Next year I will be studying under a new teacher, and my lessons will increase to one-and-a-half hours per week. After my "trial year" I have decided to go all out toward my goal. I don't believe I will progress as quickly as most students, but I figure "slow and steady wins the race".

I believe it is better to take baby steps towards a goal, rather than decide the finish line is too far away and never try at all. It may take several years before I finish all my exams. At the end of it all, though, I think I will look back and say, "It was difficult, but I'm glad I did it!"