A Delicate Topic of Conversation

Pregnancy is a special time in a woman's life. A pregnant women marvels at the miraculous transformation of her body. She glows with maternal expectation. Her growing belly hides the secret of a new life forming within.

However, pregnancy also holds some unpleasant side effects for most women.

The hormones released during pregnancy are designed to relax a woman's muscles. This is a good thing when it comes time to birth a baby. It is perhaps less appealing when applied to a body process such as digestion.

.....

Like most married couples, my husband and I engage in "pillow talk" every night before we fall asleep. We rehash the events of the day, talk about the kids, philosophise and strategize. Last night our conversation went something like this:

Wife: (burgle, burgle) I'm sorry. Supper must not have agreed with me tonight. I'm so gassy.

Husband: Weird. You only ate a huge helping of chili with beans for dinner ... and did you really think it was a good idea to serve broccoli salad on the side?

Wife: I, um ...

Husband: I mean, what were you thinking?

Wife: Well, I didn't even really want to make chili for supper.

Husband: Why on earth did you do it then?

Wife: There were a few things in the fridge that were going to spoil soon, and I wanted to use them up ...

Husband: So let me get this straight. You made chili --- the most flatulence-inducing food known to man --- with ingredients that were practically rotten, and you served broccoli slaw on the side, and you wonder why you're so gassy?

Wife: I'm sorry ... just don't sleep with your face under the covers, ok?

.....

Yes, pregnancy is a miraculous process, isn't it? Maybe for the next ten weeks I'll just pass on the beans.