Wednesday, April 19, 2006

"Going Wobbly"

Do you ever wonder how the mind of a three-year-old works? I certainly do ... pretty much every day.

My husband has been doing some home-improvement work in the basement. Ben has a home office downstairs, and he spent the day stuffing sound-proofing insulation into the ceiling. As a safety-conscious do-it-yourselfer, Ben was handsomely attired in work gloves, long sleeves, a breathing mask and safety glasses.

Our three-year-old saw Daddy's get-up and was fascinated by the safety glasses. I'm not entirely sure why the glasses were so interesting. He had seen them many times before --- they are the same goggles Ben wears to ride his motorcycle. For whatever reason, tonight the safety glasses were the best thing ever.

Now, here is where things start to get confusing. My preschooler became obsessed with an imaginary pair of "white safety glasses that we keep in the closet downstairs". He would talk of nothing else. And when a bewildered Mommy and Daddy could not produce said safety glasses ... pandemonium ensued.

The tears. The screaming. The fist shaking. My goodness! Over a pair of imaginary glasses?!

When a child throws a monumental temper tantrum in our home we say he is "going wobbly". It is a term we adopted from Tracy Hogg (aka: The Baby Whisperer). I believe it's a British phrase meaning "my-child-is-going-absolutely-bonkers-and-I-can't-for-the-life-of-me-figure-out-why."

What is a parent to do in such a situation? Well ... we undressed our screaming preschooler, dropped him in the bath, washed and dried him, attempted to brush his teeth, put on his pajamas, read the Bible and prayed, kissed him goodnight, and left him wailing in his bed. (Heartless, I know).

He was asleep five minutes later.

When I figure out the mind of a three-year-old I will let you know. In the meantime, I am on my way to the kitchen for a stiff glass of milk and a wagon wheel cookie.

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