To Be a Friend

A few years ago I went through a lonely time in my life. Ben and I had been married for a couple of years. We were involved in a church that sucked too much time and energy from our lives. I was finishing my BFA degree and working on my B.Ed. Our finances were tight. In short, I was tired and burned out.

I longed for a true friend --- a woman who shared my values and some of my interests. I was "friendly" with many people, but I didn't have any close girl friends. My husband is, and always will be, my best friend. However, I also longed for healthy Christian female companionship.

I often prayed that God would send me a "perfect friend" --- someone who could share my struggles, who would call me up on the phone, who would think I was pretty cool to hang around with. I wanted a friend who would accept me as I was, blemishes and all.

I prayed for a year and nothing happened. If anything, life seemed harder and I became more lonely.

Then I came to a major realization: I needed to become the kind of friend I was looking for.

I think God was trying to teach me a difficult lesson. He was not going to magically drop a "perfect friend" into my life, but He had placed several women across my path that I could be a good friend to. I could be the person to share their struggles, I could call them up on the phone, I could show them that I thought they were pretty cool to hang around with. God was teaching me to be less self-centred.

The interesting thing is, as I started to work on being a good friend, God began to bring caring girl friends into my own life. Ben and I moved to a new church and I met several wonderful Christian women with children the same ages as my own. I also met a very special "online pen pal" from South Africa.

I've come to realize that I have much to learn about friendship. Because I am fairly shy and introverted, reaching out to others does not come naturally to me. I have to work up my nerve every time I pick up the phone or start up a conversation. God knows this is a weak area for me.

Therefore, I am thankful every day that God is patient as I learn to care for my friends. I now know the "perfect friend" does not exist, but I thank God that He has chosen to bless me with some very good ones.

"I know where the dust bunnies live ... "

The state of my house is starting to bother me. Normally, I am a very picky housekeeper. I like my surroundings to be clean and orderly. At times I have been accused of being a "clean freak" (by certain husbands who shall remain nameless...).

My usual routine, for times when I don't have a newborn baby, is to do "zone cleaning". I generally don't clean the entire house in one day. Instead, I'll clean all the bedrooms one day, do the bathrooms the next, dust and vacuum the main level on a third day, and so on. I find this method breaks my housekeeping chores into manageable chunks, and the entire house stays reasonably tidy throughout the week.

However, my current housekeeping strategy could best be labelled "survival mode". Certain chores I try to do every day --- washing the dishes, picking up toys, laundry. Everything else has sort of fallen by the wayside.

Tomorrow I am hoping to take action. The dust on my poor piano is so thick my boys have been amusing themselves by "finger painting" with it. I am hoping to clean my entire main level in the morning --- dust, vacuum, clean the powder room, and scrub the stone floor.

Am I being too ambitious? Probably. But I can always pray that Baby takes an extra long nap tomorrow!

The Joke

My toddler is 20 months old today. He has a sunny, fun-loving personality. When he gets a little older I have no doubt my boy will be a chatterbox and a clown. In fact, he already is working on his first joke:

Toddler: Knock, knock.

Mommy: Who's there?

Toddler: Apple.

Mommy: Apple who?

Toddler: Knock, knock.

Mommy: Who's there?

Toddler: Apple.

Mommy: Apple who?

Toddler: Knock, knock.

And on, and on, and on ....

I believe my son is still working on the finer points of humour. :-)

A Shopping Adventure

I was feeling brave this morning.

I loaded our kiddies into the minivan and set off on a landmark expedition --- my first solo grocery shopping trip with three children under the age of four.

I had it all planned: Categorically organized shopping list. Check. Re-usable shopping bins. Check. Purse and fully-stocked diaper bag. Check. Two little boys in the cart and baby in the bjorn carrier. All present and accounted for.

The boys behaved. Baby slept peacefully in her carrier. I managed to find everything on my list. A compassionate stranger even helped me load my groceries at the check-out.

A successful shopping expedition!

Well ... almost.

I hadn't counted on the gigantic SUV parked mere inches from the passenger side of my van.

Hmmmmm.

I am no longer sporting an enormous belly, but I'm not quite to the point of squeezing through tiny spaces yet.

All I can say is --- thank God for dual sliding doors.

Lunch Date

Isn't it funny how your perspective changes?

When we had our first child it was a major production to get Mom, Dad and Baby out and about. We lugged around a huge diaper bag, filled with every conceivable item we could possibly require. Baby had to be diapered, dressed, swaddled, bundled and buckled snugly into his car seat. Then we had to figure out how, exactly, that car seat strapped into our vehicle. We also had gear --- fancy stroller, baby bjorn carrier, the backpack.

By the time we finally got everything and everyone ready to leave, we were too tired to go out for very long.

...................

This morning the boys went to the zoo with Grandma and Grandpa. Ben, our sweet baby girl and I were left at home.

"Hey!" I said, "It's just the three of us. Let's go out for lunch, or something. It seems like forever since we went on a date."

Within ten minutes we were comfortably seated in a booth at a restaurant. Baby slept in her car seat through almost the entire meal. Ben and I remarked on how relaxing it was to go out with "just the three of us".

Times do change.

Oh ... and I forgot the diaper bag at home.

Beautiful

I think pregnant women are gorgeous. I love the curves of the pregnant body --- round hips, ripe belly, full breasts. Pregnancy is a beautiful season in almost any woman's life.

Two weeks ago, like a butterfly leaving a cocoon, I shed my pregnant body to take on a new form. I am always amazed at how rapidly a pregnant body reverts back to its non-pregnant state. In a very short time the uterus shrinks from the size of a watermelon to that of a pear. Organs displaced by the uterus migrate back to their original homes. Breasts begin producing copious volumes of nourishing milk.

The pregnant female form is often celebrated (or at least admired) in our culture. However, the post-partum body is considerably less desirable. Women who have recently given birth may feel fat and bemoan their "flabby abs". They may be self-conscious of their fuller figures --- wide hips and large breasts. Popular magazines exhort women to "get back in shape" as quickly as possible after giving birth.

Over the past week I've caught myself dreaming about "when I get my skinny body back". I've been sensitive about the fact that I am twenty pounds heavier than normal. I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit, and sometimes I feel sloppy and out of shape.

When I start to feel this way I stop and I take my discouraging thoughts captive.

I remember that God designed my body to be beautiful, whatever season of life I am in. I thank God that, in His wisdom, He gave me wide hips for birthing babies. I thank Him that I have good food to eat --- nourishment that pads my body and provides fuel for making my baby's milk. I even thank Him for my soft tummy.

This time with my newborn baby is precious. These weeks are so short. It will be time to hit the gym soon enough. For now I am concentrating on loving my little girl, resting from my pregnancy and birth, and making lots of quality milk.

The sit-ups can wait for another day. God created this body, and it is lovely.

First Bath

This evening we gave our baby girl her very first bath. She hasn't needed a bath until now --- even on her birthday we did not bathe her. I think that because she was born in the water she emerged very clean.

However, the time to wash our little girl finally arrived. She was moving from "newborn baby smell" to "smelly baby".

I though she might fuss and cry through her bath --- my baby girl does not enjoy being naked. She surprised us, though. She was quite calm and placid throughout the entire experience. Perhaps she was remembering her watery birth?

Dress-Up

My sons love to play dress-up. We have a small trunk filled with costumes and play clothes in our living room. (It doubles quite nicely as a coffee table). Our costume box has been dubbed the "sniffle trunk" in honour of Mr. Dress-up.

Certain characters are dress-up favourites in our house. Star Wars jedi, astronauts, fire fighters and robots make frequent appearances.

And watch out for pirates!

This evening we went to my parents' for supper. My sister gave my eldest son a plastic pirate sword, an eye patch, and a bandanna for his head. My preschooler was in heaven! He swash buckled through the backyard for the better part of an hour.

When we got home, my son insisted on hiding his pirate sword "in a safe place". He was worried it might get stolen in the night. (By a roving band of buccaneers?) He did not want to put his sword away in our "sniffle trunk".

So, where did my three-year-old decide was the safest place in the house to hide his "treasure"?

Daddy's underwear drawer, of course.

The Haircut

I finally allowed it.

On Wednesday afternoon we took our 19-month-old to Beaners for his first haircut. I'll admit, the haircut was not as traumatic as I feared it might be. He was completely unfazed by the process.

My son's angelic curly locks may be gone, but the results are still pretty cute.

Snack Time

His words made my "mommy heart" proud.

I am usually very picky about the foods I feed my boys. I am "anti-junk food" and try to serve healthy and nutritious meals.

Today at snack time I made an exception. I gave each of the boys a sugary, orange popsicle as a treat.

My preschooler happily consumed his sticky, sweet snack. He turned to me and said:

"That was good, Mommy. Now can I have some real food?"

Baby Brain

I had my first postpartum "baby brain" episode this evening.

I decided to make rice for supper. I carefully measured the rice and water into a pot, placed the pot on the stove, and turned on the burner. I then retrieved a tub of margarine from the fridge and scooped out a spoonful to add to the pot of rice.

I smelled burning plastic.

I looked down at the stove and realized that I had turned on the wrong burner. The bottom of my tub of margarine was rapidly melting, while my pot of rice stubbornly refused to boil.

Thank God I didn't start a fire.

Now my plastic container is "doubled up" inside another plastic tub in the fridge to prevent greasy margarine from oozing out the holes in its bottom.

And I have no idea how to remove the white plastic now fused to my stove element.

It's a problem for another day when my brain is less befuddled.

The (.) (.) Blog

Last night after supper the chaos in our household was minimal. I thought I would take advantage of the (relatively) peaceful moment to make a few phone calls.

I dialed the number of our doctor's office, intending to make an appointment for our new baby's first check up. A friendly receptionist answered the phone.

I chatted for a few minutes and arranged an appointment time. The baby sat contentedly in her swing, the toddler played with his mini cars on the carpet, and my preschooler fiddled with a chunk of silly putty.

Just as I was finishing up my phone conversation, my preschooler ran up and proudly showed me his silly putty creation.

"Look Mommy!" he loudly exclaimed, "I made a nipple!"

Sure enough, there it was. An accurate nipple facsimile captured in gray silly putty. Who knew my young man had such artistic talent?

"Ummm," I stammered into the phone, "I sure hope you didn't hear that..."

"Hear what?" the receptionist replied with a smile in her voice.

............

This evening we bathed the boys, put on their pajamas, and all sprawled across our bed to read a Bible story. The baby sat in her bouncy chair at our feet.

As the story ended our baby girl began to fuss. My three-year-old, ever the helpful big brother, leaped to his feet.

As my husband and I quietly observed from across the room, my preschooler slowly lifted his pajama shirt and exposed his chest. He leaned in close to his newborn sister.

"Shhhh, don't cry," he cooed, "Look, here's my nipple. You love nipples!"

My husband and I nearly lost it trying to contain our silent laughter.

............

With a brand new baby in our house, I wonder what my impressionable, young preschooler has seen a lot of lately :-)

Birth Pictures

We finally had the opportunity yesterday to pick up these photos from the store. I have carefully gone through them, editing out the "less modest" shots. I hope you enjoy the pictures of our home waterbirth!

Patty checks the baby's heartbeat during a contraction. I am about 9cm dilated.

I start to push. The baby's head is almost born.

Mommy and Daddy welcome Baby into the world.

Big Brother gives Mommy a kiss.

I snuggle my little girl while we wait to cut her umbilical cord.

Big Brother admires his new baby sister.

The midwife measures Baby's length.

Daddy and Patty weigh Baby. She is 7 1/2 lbs!

Happy Father's Day

Today was an extra-special Father's Day in our house. We have had an eventful week! Ben is now the proud papa of three little "Benjamites".

This Father's Day was an especially geeky occasion for our Daddy Ben. I bought my husband a new "cold heat" soldering tool to help him build his quirky engineering experiments. (I think he liked it. This afternoon he spent several hours sequestered in his office, disassembling old dinosaur computers.)

I also ordered a gift online "from the boys" --- three t-shirts from thinkgeek.com. Daddy's t-shirt reads "geek" in lime green letters. The boys' t-shirts each say "geek in training".

Ben was proud as punch to walk into church this morning with his "geeky" boys and a new baby daughter.

Daddy constructing a robot with his boys

"Geek in Training #1"

"Geek in Training #2"

The finished project

Baby enjoys all the geeky fun from her swing

More Family Pictures

Big Brother holding his baby sister

Grandpa Merv and Baby Hannah

The new big / little brother

"Look Mommy, I'm a robot!"

Mommy and baby sleeping on the couch

Day Four

Our precious little girl is four days old today. The past week has been a marathon. The days have felt loooooong.

My baby girl seems to have a calm and peaceful temperament. She rarely cries, and is undisturbed by her rambunctious brothers' antics. For the first three days she nursed almost continually. My milk fully came in yesterday, and since then her feedings have gradually spaced out.

Thankfully, my baby does not have her days and nights mixed up. She has slept every night so far (but not for long stretches between feedings!). Last night she had a sleepy period from 9pm to 9am, interspersed with about eight feedings. I went to sleep at 9pm too. This morning was the first time I actually felt rested. I was even able to nap for another hour this afternoon.

My boys are adapting well. They have been at one or the other grandmas' house every morning this week. We are starting to see a few signs of fatigue in them both --- more tantrums, sleep disturbances, disobedience --- but overall they have been very good boys. They love their baby sister. They gently pat her velvety head and give her slobbery little boy kisses on the cheek.

This morning we took Baby on her first car ride to my parents' house to pick up the boys. I think she liked her car seat --- she slept in it for over two hours! Tomorrow we will take her on her first "real" outing to church. Isn't it appropriate that our baby's "public debut" will be on Father's Day?

The Birth

I started to feel regular contractions at about 12:30am on Tuesday morning. I had had a couple of episodes of "preparatory labour" over the weekend, so I was unsure whether these contractions were the real thing. Ben and I decided go to sleep and napped for about an hour.

I woke up at around 1:30am to use the washroom and had three big contractions in a row. I knew for sure that the labour was real! I prayed that God would help me to be calm, and would give me strength for the work ahead of me. Earlier in the week I had memorized Philippians 4:6 to encourage me during labour.

We called my midwife and she arrived in less than half an hour. Patty was surprised to see that we hadn't set out any of the supplies yet. (I wanted to be very certain that this was the real labour before we set up our things.) I walked around upstairs, hugging my large, green pillow and leaning against the wall with every contraction. The contractions were about 4-5 minutes apart and still quite manageable.

Patty checked my dilation. I was a little worried she would say I was only 2 or 3 cm along. I was amazed to learn that I was already at 8 cm!

Patty and Ben moved quickly to set up the pool in the kitchen. We would have a baby soon! I stayed in my bedroom and called my mom and sister. As Ben inflated our "fishy pool" with a hand pump, I wandered up and down the stairs and through the hallway. (Our midwife suspected the baby might be turned posterior, so she ordered me to do lots of stairs!)

As the pool was filling with water I came down to the kitchen and ate a bowl of cheerios. I was still feeling very good --- the contractions were strong but manageable when I breathed through them. I certainly didn't feel like I was in the transition phase yet.

Once the pool was full of warm water I gently lowered myself in. Heaven!! The water felt so nice. I was feeling some labour in my back, and the warm water was wonderful. I mostly laboured on my hands and knees with a warm wash cloth soothing my back. I rested my head on the cushy side of the pool.

The contractions intensified. My mom and sister arrived. We called Ben's mom and sister-in-law to let them know the birth would happen soon. I began to moan with the contractions. I consciously tried to sound like a cow, making low sounds in from deep in my chest. I think this vocalization really helped.

I needed to have the lights turned down low, and no conversation during the contractions. The atmosphere was very calm and peaceful.

Patty asked if I would like for her to break my bag of waters. She called the second midwife to come quickly because she could see that the birth was imminent. Patty checked my dilation and I was at 10 cm.

I felt that I should wait for the other midwife to arrive, but after two "pushy" contractions I asked for my waters to be broken. My midwife had me float on my back as she ruptured the membranes during a big contraction. I leaned my head against Ben's shoulder. This was definitely the most painful part of the labour.

I felt a small "pop" as the bag finally broke, and then immediately felt an overwhelming urge to push. I gave a mighty push and reached my hands between my legs. Baby's head was right there. I floated on my back and gave another push. My baby's head was born into my own hands. It was the most amazing thing I have ever felt.

I rested for a few seconds until the next contraction came. Then I gave one more big push and my baby's body emerged into the warm water. She was beautiful!

I snuggled her close and she opened her eyes right away. She was so calm and peaceful. She did not even cry. Ben cuddled my shoulders from behind as I rested against the side of the pool. I could not believe how fast the birth happened!

Ben's mom had arrived just before I started pushing, and slipped quietly into the room. My sister-in-law came just two minutes after the birth. The second midwife missed all the excitement and arrived about five minutes after our baby was born.

We waited to cut the cord until after it had stopped pulsing --- about 20 minutes. Baby pinked up very quickly and had apgar scores of 10 and 10. I am convinced that her rosy complexion can be attributed to not clamping the cord right away.

We had intended to allow our preschooler to watch the birth, but everything happened so quickly that we forgot to wake the boys up. My sister fetched my little guys from bed. My three-year-old was delighted to find his mommy snuggling a new baby in a pool in the kitchen! The boys were so cute. My eldest son immediately came and touched his newborn sister. My toddler just looked bewildered, and his face seemed to say, "Why are all these people in my kitchen in the middle of the night?"

Ben cut the cord and snuggled his new baby daughter. I delivered the placenta in the pool. I was able to take a good look at the placenta in the bowl afterwards. It was fascinating to see the life-giving organ that had nourished my baby for nine long months.

Amazingly, I did not bleed at all at that point. The pool water was almost completely clear. My midwives helped me out of the pool, up the stairs, and directly into my own luxurious shower. It felt so good to be in my own home. From the shower I went straight into my own bed, snuggled my new baby daughter, and stayed in that same spot for the rest of the day.

Everybody else cleaned up. The midwives brought a pump to clear out the pool. I was surprised at how easy the clean up seemed to be --- only one load of laundry and a couple of bags of garbage. The mess of birth seemed so much greater in the hospital.

Birth at home was simple and straightforward. It was peaceful and relaxing. Having a homebirth now seems like the most natural thing in the world. I can't imagine doing it any other way.

Baby is Here!!

Hannah Marie Inkster arrived at about 4:45 this morning. She was born into a warm pool of water in our kitchen after four hours of labour. Both grandmas, her auntie, her daddy and our midwife were there for the birth.

Hannah's big brothers are very excited to have a new baby sister. They slept through the entire labour and delivery, and woke up minutes after the baby was born.

Mommy, Daddy and Baby spent all day today napping in bed. It was wonderfully relaxing. I would choose to birth at home again in a heartbeat.

Hannah's birth weight was 7lbs. 8oz.

I will post a more detailed birth story in the next day or two.

Home Haircuts

About a year ago I bought a basic haircutting kit. It has electric clippers, attachments, scissors and a comb. I figured that as part of my "Quest to Become a Proverbs 31 Woman" I would learn to cut my family's hair.

I was intimidated at first --- especially to trim my husband's hair. But honestly, I've found that cutting hair is not terribly difficult.

My boys all receive the basic "#4 Clipper Trim" every three weeks or so. In the summer we mix it up a bit and switch to #3 or even #2.

Gotta keep things interesting, you know.

Tonight I gave my preschooler and my husband fancy new haircuts. (I thought I might not have another opportunity get it done before the baby comes.) I gave my three-year-old the ever popular "#3 Special". Ben decided to be daring and opted for an extreme "#1 Summer Buzz".

His only comment when I finished his trim was, "Gee .... I look really bald now."

Unfortunately, my husband is on the losing end of the gene pool when it comes to hair growth. Oh well, it sure makes for easy haircuts.

Stretching a Dollar

A few months ago I found a publication at the library called The Tightwad Gazette. I discovered that The Gazette is a newsletter full of articles about frugal living. I like to save money when I can and was intrigued.

To tell the truth, The Tightwad Gazette was too extreme for my tastes. It offered some interesting ideas, but I thought many were impractical for the average family. Did you know that some people use cloth toilet paper?! I'm afraid I am not that frugal.

I am not a guru of thrift. However, I would like to share a few tips for saving money at Superstore. Here are some of my best:

- I switched from buying name-brand diapers to the Teddy's Choice Supreme brand. Name-brand diapers cost $43.98 for a box of 112, and Teddy's Choice are $25.98 for the same box.

- Our family drinks a lot of orange juice. I like the Minute Maid Calcium Enriched brand. I used to buy it in the carton at $2.77 for 2L. Now I buy the frozen concentrate for $0.94.

- I use Cetaphil face wash on my skin. A bottle of the name-brand face wash costs $12.98. Superstore now sells a generic brand of the same product for only $6.98. The generic face lotion also only costs $6.98.

- Near the produce section in Superstore they often set up a rack of day-old bread and baking. I often find loaves of expensive multigrain or specialty bread on this rack. I stock up on the bread, at less than half its normal price, and store it in my freezer at home.

- Every summer around the first week of July Superstore clears out its summer clothing for at least 50% off. I stock up on basics like shorts and t-shirts. I've found t-shirts for the boys for less than $2, and I bought a decent pair of shoes for myself for $3. Two years ago I paid $14 for a snowsuit for my son. He's worn the parka for two winters, and it should last him this year too.

God has blessed our family financially, and I feel it is my duty to be a good steward of the resources He's given us. I love to save a dollar or two. And when I can have fun shopping too, all the better!

Cars

Today I had the privilege of taking my three-year-old to his first movie at the theatre.

Nothing beats the excitement of a little boy going to see a movie about shiny, noisy, racing cars. My son spent the entire show perched on the edge of his seat with a huge bag of popcorn balanced on his lap. He was totally enthralled.

Because he had never been to a real movie before, my preschooler was not versed in "proper theatre etiquette". Some scenes left him so excited he couldn't help but burst out with adorable (and audible to the entire theatre) commentary ...

"Mommy, that car goes fast!!!"

"That car looks just like on Star Wars!"

And my favourite: "This popcorn is really salty!"

But the best part of our "movie date" was when my little man spontaneously cupped my face in both of his buttery hands and kissed me gently on the lips, right in the middle of the show.

I hope my son stays so sweet and innocent forever.

Is It Time?

I think our baby will arrive very soon.

Last night I was up most of the night with convincingly strong contractions. I tried to stay in bed as long as possible, but I felt quite uncomfortable. I got up, ate a snack, read for a while, and even had a bath. The contractions were still strong and regular, so I thought, "This might actually be the real thing!"

I decided to try and sleep. I figured that real labour would continue whether I stayed awake or not. I finally dropped off as the sun was coming up around 5am.

Sure enough, as I slept the contractions slowed down and eventually stopped. My boys woke up for the day at 8:15am. I ended up with a very short sleep. I guess it is preparation for the sleepless nights to come!

Today I've been feeling crampy and heavy, and have been having strong Braxton Hicks. Thankfully, I napped for a couple of hours this afternoon. We went to a party for a short time this evening, and I went to a party the night before each of my boys was born. Who knows? Maybe tonight will be the night labour kicks in for real?

I'm excited, but also a little anxious. This being my third pregnancy, I am not naive about the hard work that is to come.

Recommended Reading

This week I finished two books. I would highly recommend each book to any Canadian mother-to-be:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
by Ina May Gaskin

The Midwifery Option: A Canadian Guide to the Birth Experience
by Miranda Hawkins & Sarah Knox

Ina May Gaskin is one of the most respected midwives in North America. Her first book, Spiritual Midwifery, is considered to be an essential text on natural childbirth. I read Spiritual Midwifery at the beginning of this pregnancy. I will admit --- I found it weird. Too "psychedelic" and "groovy" for my tastes. I was pleased to discover that Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is more accessible, and full of useful information.

I wish I had found The Midwifery Option several months ago. This book thoroughly explained the Canadian system of midwifery care. The status of midwifery care in Canada is in a constant state of development. Published in 2002, the information provided in The Midwifery Option is fairly up-to-date. This book's description of midwifery care in Calgary is very accurate. I was surprised to learn that Calgary is the only city in Western Canada where women have the choice of birthing in a hospital, a birth centre, or at home.

As the birth of our baby draws ever closer, I feel an urgency to learn and study as much as I can. These two books have helped me to gain increasing confidence in our decision to plan a homebirth. I would recommend them to any woman interested in midwifery care.

Beware: The Diaper-less Wonder

My toddler is in a "helpful" stage these days. He loves to do little jobs for Mommy. He will pick minuscule crumbs from the floor and throw them in the garbage. He enjoys putting away blocks and mini cars (and then dumping them out again). And he consistently throws his dirty clothes into the laundry hamper.

His favourite "job" of the moment is throwing away his own diapers. For whatever reason, my little guy loves to open the stinky diaper pail, hurl the soiled diaper in, and then gingerly replace the lid. He then shouts, "Yay!", and claps enthusiastically for himself.

It's terribly cute.

This evening we followed our usual bath-time ritual. Ben ran the tub. I set out fresh pajamas and got the boys undressed. My toddler threw the dirty clothes into the hamper. Then he tugged at his diaper. I removed it and he gleefully threw the diaper away.

My little guy ran toward the bathroom completely starkers. I opened the cupboard under the sink and retrieved a bucket of bath toys for the boys. My toddler demanded, "Bob, Bob!", so I also handed him an empty Bob the Builder bubble bath bottle.

I quickly checked the temperature of the water before hoisting the boys over the side of the tub. Too hot for little guys. With my youngest happily dipping his Bob the Builder bottle into the water, I flipped on the cold water tap for a moment.

Water splashed onto my foot.

"Buddy ..." I complained, "Be careful! You're getting Mommy's foot all wet. Keep the water in the tub."

Wait a second. The fluid spilling onto my foot was warm and wet, but it wasn't bath water ...

My toddler grinned up at me.

Serves me right for turning on the tap within earshot of my "Diaper-less Wonder"!

Delicious Chicken

I made this recipe for the first time tonight. It is instantly going into my "keeper" file. All through the meal Ben said, "Wow, this is really good!"

My Favourite Chicken Dish
from Fast and Easy Cooking (p. 95)

4 skinless boneless chicken breasts
2 tbsp. all purpose flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 tbsp. butter
1/2 C. chicken stock
1/2 C. orange juice
1 large clove garlic, finely chopped
1/2 tsp. dried Italian herbs or basil
1/4 tsp. granulated sugar
1 tbsp. chopped parsley or chives

1. On a cutting board using a sharp knife, cut each breast lengthwise into two thin pieces. Place flour in a shallow bowl; season with salt and pepper. Coat chicken in flour mixture, shaking off excess.

2. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add butter; when foamy, add chicken pieces. Cook 2 minutes per side or until lightly browned. Transfer to a plate.

3. Reduce heat to medium; add stock, orange juice, garlic, Italian herbs and sugar to skillet. Bring to a boil; cook for 1 minute or until slightly reduced. Season sauce with salt and pepper to taste. Return chicken to skillet; reduce heat, cover and simmer for 5 minutes or until no longer pink inside and sauce is slightly thickened. Serve sprinkled with parsley.

Insomnia

The clock is ticking down. Our new baby girl is due in 15 days. Babies tend to come in their own time, but I am prepared for our baby to arrive any day now.

Unfortunately, I have firmly entered the insomnia stage of late pregnancy. Though my body is ready for bed by 8pm, the rest of me has trouble falling asleep. Several nights this week I have been awake until past 2am.

It seems that just as I am ready to fall asleep, my little passenger is awake and feeling wiggly. My baby is quite big now. Her movements cause my belly to bulge and distort in surprising ways. Needless to say, I have difficulty falling asleep when she is dancing in my womb.

My mind is also especially active at night. I think this is because night is the only peaceful, quiet time I have to myself. Thankfully, I am not much of a worrier. I am not laying awake analysing situations or obsessing about the coming birth. Instead, I lay in bed making plans --- dreaming up projects, plotting stories, thinking of ways we can renovate the house (sorry Ben!). Sometimes I get carried away with too many thoughts swirling in my head.

It also doesn't help that my baby has dropped very low, so I must use the washroom basically once every hour. Nothing is more frustrating than just falling asleep only to be woken up by an insistent bladder.

Ahhh, pregnancy is wonderful!

But all the discomfort and fatigue is completely worth it. I can hardly wait to snuggle my new baby girl in my arms. I find it hard to believe that in only a few more days I will be the mommy of three wonderful children.

Life Long Learning

This evening I continued to work on my quilt. As my sewing machine hummed along, I enjoyed a precious couple of peaceful hours.

I am working on a difficult section of my project at the moment. It is the actual "quilting" stage, and I am carefully outlining appliqued hearts and stars with machine stitches. Because I'm a novice seamstress my stitching lines are a bit wobbly in places. I find the curved lines particularly difficult to manage.

As I struggled with my sewing, I thought about my days in the B.Ed. program at the university. In one class the professor asked us the question, "What is learning?". It was a terribly thorny question to answer. Tonight as I sewed I came up with a few thoughts in response.

I believe learning involves being willing to try something, even if the results are not perfect.

I have been interested in quilting for several years. However, this baby quilt is only the second project I have attempted. I finally realized that I can think about, read about, and admire pictures of quilts for only so long. There comes a time when I must get over my fear of failing, pick up a needle and thread, and try to make my own quilt.

Certainly, this quilt is not perfect. Imperfection is an inherent part of the learning process. With every stitch I am practicing a new skill. Besides, my baby quilt is made with love, and I intentionally chose a whimsical pattern that allows for a degree of imperfection.

There are many "homey" things I am interested in learning these days --- how to make a pie, how to bake things like cinnamon buns and fancy breads, how to plant a garden, how to can jams and jellies. I can't let the fear making mistakes prevent me from trying new things. The first few times I bake a pie the crust may fall to pieces. But I can practice, try again, and learn from my mistakes.

I practice piano nearly every day. It will take me hundreds of hours to prepare my repertoire for one performance --- my ARCT exam. Most pianists do not sit in front of the keyboard and play a complex piece perfectly the first time through. A wonderful performance requires many unseen hours of diligent practice.

If I am afraid of playing a wrong note, I might never attempt to play the piano. If I am worried about my yeast bread falling flat, I might never try to bake. If I am concerned that my stitches will be wobbly, I might never attempt to sew a quilt.

I am finally beginning to internalize the following truth: No one in the world is perfect. Even "experts" make mistakes.

I do not need the pressure of being perfect. Life is a lot more interesting when I am trying new things. My amateur attempts may be far from ideal, but at least I am making a start. I see it all as part of the process of learning.

The Iris Incident

This morning I took two excited young boys over to my friend's house for a play date. According to my preschooler, this particular house is "the most fun ever". I would have to agree. My friend is blessed with a large backyard, a play room full of toys, and two energetic young men of her own. Play date paradise!

Alas, all good things must come to an end. By noon my boys were wearing thin and it was time to head for home.

As we (slowly) made our way to the van, my friend asked if I would like a bunch of irises to take home. She has hundreds of the lovely purple flowers blooming in her front yard. She proceeded to cut several long stems for me, and wrapped them in damp paper towels.

To my horror, my three-year-old saw the cut flowers and began haphazardly snapping off blooms for his own "bouquet". Thankfully, my friend is an easy-going mom and allowed my little man to take home a bloom of his very own.

I eventually managed to corral my boys into the van and strap them into their car seats. I then carefully piloted the "mommy mobile" toward home. Every so often I would glance in the rear view mirror and catch a glimpse of my preschooler admiring his "pretty flower".

I thought to myself, "I am a blessed mommy. We've had a lovely morning playing with friends. And what beautiful flowers we now have to brighten our home. The sun is shining, the weather is warm. God truly is the Master of creation ... "

My musing was interrupted by crunching sounds from the back seat.

I turned to glance behind me.

My preschooler was happily eating his "pretty flower".

We all enjoy God's creation in our own special way, I suppose.

DVD Review:

That The World May Know:
Walk as Jesus Walked

Ray Vander Laan

On Thursday nights we host a small Bible study group in our home. For the past five weeks we have been viewing and discussing the Walk as Jesus Walked DVD. This video is the seventh volume in the That the World My Know series published by Zondervan and hosted by Ray Vander Laan.

Mr. Vander Laan is a gifted Biblical teacher and historian. Through his teaching, I gained unique insight into the world of the early Christians. In every video episode Mr. Vander Laan tours through ancient ruins and historical sites in Asia Minor. He literally follows the pathways that disciples such as Paul and Timothy traveled, and visits catacombs and cave churches. The locations are fascinating.

The back of the DVD reads, in part:

"A disciple is consumed with a passion to be like The Rabbi --- Jesus. Come and discover the passion of our early Christian brothers and sisters. Follow in their footprints as they loved the Messiah with all their heart, all their soul, and all their might --- every moment of every day."

Watching this DVD has whet my appetite to personally view the first six volumes in the series. However, I do not believe we would use these videos again for a group Bible study. Though the DVD itself is excellent, the accompanying study guide is weak and elementary. We were disappointed in the uninspired questions and topics for further discussion.

I believe Ray Vander Laan's That the World May Know series would be perfect for homeschooling or as material for family devotions with older children. The visuals are stunning, and Mr. Vander Laan's teaching makes the Bible come alive for his viewers.

Mister Messy

I think my little man enjoyed his supper this evening. He even managed to get pasta sauce in his ears.

After much scrubbing and rinsing I did manage to get him cleaned up.

When my back was turned as I washed the dishes, he then scribbled all over himself with blue marker.

(Sigh)

I treated my little guy to an incredibly thorough bath tonight!

Baby Quilt

I have finally finished piecing together the top of my quilt. Tonight as I sewed, I learned a couple of things:

1. I am not a skilled seamstress as the end of a "pregnancy brain-drain" day.

2. I am even less skilled when I am trying to ignore increasingly strong Braxton Hicks contractions.

However, I have persevered! Here is the fruit of my labour:




(Pun intended. Forgive me, it's late).

Wonderful Waterbirth

My first two children were born in the hospital into the hands of an obstetrician. I had a satisfactory hospital experience both times, but for this baby I wanted something different. God willing, my third child will be born at home with the assistance of a midwife.

Not only am I planning for a homebirth, but I hope to labour and deliver my baby in a pool of warm water. I have long been interested in waterbirth. However, I never really believed it was something I would try myself. It is only in the past couple of weeks that I finally decided I would attempt a waterbirth.

My preschooler is absolutely fascinated by the fact that his baby sister will be born in an inflatable "fishy pool" in the middle of the kitchen. He is terribly excited. Every day he asks, "Can the baby be born today, Mommy? Pleeeeeese?"

I am pretty excited myself! I have gathered all of my homebirth supplies. They are neatly stored away in a large laundry basket in the nursery room closet. I have towels, plastic sheets, a flashlight, bowls, bags, a kitty litter scoop (I leave its purpose to your imagination), and many other supplies ready and waiting.

I have run into one snag, though. I am having a terrible time figuring out how to attach a garden hose to our kitchen faucet. Go figure. I bought a hose and faucet adapter at Canadian Tire. The hose fit on the adapter, but the adapter would not screw on to the tap. So I bought a new adapter at the Home Depot. Now the adapter fits perfectly on my faucet, but the hose is the wrong size.

Arrrrrg!

It is too much for my pregnant brain to deal with. I believe it is my husband's turn to make the trek, once again, to Home Depot. And if worse comes to worse, duct tape is always an option.

Ahhh, the joys of preparing for a waterbirth!

Blessed

A few months ago a missionary visited our church. He made the following comment about wealth and prosperity:

"You may not think you are rich. You may feel that you do not have enough money. But if you have a simple jar with loose change sitting on top of your fridge, you are more wealthy than the vast majority of people in the world."

Thank you, Lord, that my family is blessed. Please help me to remember my responsibilty to help others who are hurting and in need. May I be a good steward of the resources you have blessed me with. And may I never take Your provision for granted.

Book Review:

Ten Minutes from Normal
Karen Hughes

I confess a lack of knowledge about American political figures. Before reading this book I had not heard of Karen Hughes, nor knew of her leadership position within the White House. I was drawn to read her autobiography because of its tag line:

"Counselor to the President. Wife and Mother. The woman who left the White House to put family first, and moved back home to Texas."

My first thoughts as I read the cover of the book were, "Here is a woman who seems to have her priorities straight. I would like to learn more."

As her story progresses, Mrs. Hughes values and beliefs become increasingly clear. She is a talented woman of faith, trying to humbly serve as a Christian in the high-pressure world of American politics. Her priorities are molded by her love of God, her family, and her country. She is not held captive by a quest for power or prestige.

"Work is what you do; it is not who you are. My identity is not based on any title or position or proximity to power. I may have those things for a while, but they are no more or less important than my other roles as wife, mother, friend, Bible-study partner." (p. 324)

Mrs. Hughes is a woman who stewards great influence and power within the White House. She is a confidant of the President of the United States. Yet, she does not use her autobiography as a vehicle to boast of her own accomplishments. Instead, Mrs. Hughes acknowledges God as the source of her strength.

She closes the book with the following inspirational thought:

"I'm certain I'm going to heaven, not because I am faithful, but because God is. Jesus promised, and I believe: no one can snatch me from His hand. I am confident that by the time I get there, Jesus will have nurtured in me a longing for peace, a liking for harmony, a sense of contentment that I can only dream of in this earthly life." (p. 335)

Ten Minutes from Normal is an enlightening read. I would recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about the men and women serving as America's leaders.

Simple Pleasures

Ben and I affectionately refer to the first few years of our marriage as the "Early Poverty Days".

I will never forget one year in particular. We were both students, started our own business, and travelled across the country for two months. Needless to say, we survived on an extremely limited budget.

Our motto during that time was:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34

We tried to be thankful for everything --- we had enough milk in the fridge to last one more day, we had just enough money to pay the bills that were due, and even though we'd run out of toothpaste we had plenty of baking soda!

Sure, it was a stressful time of life. We are thankful to have survived it together, though. Ben and I agree that our "Early Poverty Days" strengthened our marriage and taught us to manage finances.

We also learned to take pleasure in simple things.

A habit I developed during that time involves a mundane task --- washing the dishes. One day I was over at my friend's house and was impressed by her "fresh green apple" scented dish soap. It was a small thing, but I decided that I would enjoy washing dishes so much more if I also had a lovely detergent to use. I went to the grocery store and splurged on a $1.50 bottle of name-brand dish soap.

I have bought yummy-smelling dish detergent ever since.

This morning I took my boys to Superstore for our weekly shopping trip. I paused in the "cleaning supplies" aisle and chose a bottle of lavender dish soap. I took a moment to open the cap and inhale its sweet aroma. As I placed the dish detergent into my overflowing shopping cart, I thanked God for blessing us abundantly.

Yes, He's been good. And every time I do the dishes I am reminded of God's faithful provision for our family.

The Almighty List

I confess ... I am a compulsive list-maker.

I keep lists of many things: shopping items, daily chores, phone messages, fix-it projects --- you name it. I find, especially these days, I must diligently record items on my lists before the fleeting thoughts jump out of my sleep-deprived brain. I don't know how I could function without a pen and paper.

I have one extra-special list at the moment. I call it The Almighty List of Jobs that Must Be Finished Before the Baby Arrives. It is basically a list of odd jobs --- things such as "hem bedroom curtains" and "wash car seat cover". You know, really vital stuff.

As I approach my 37th week of pregnancy, I have been taken over by an increasing sense of urgency. I need to get my Almighty List done! Therefore, this week I made it my goal to complete one or two items each day.

But I am running into a couple of problems.

It seems my Almighty List is taking on a life of its own. Rather than growing shorter, every day it mysteriously seems to get longer. I will cross one item off and, somehow, two more will take its place. I find it a most puzzling phenomenon.

As well, I have come to believe that my energy levels are inversely proportional to the length of my list. These days I spend an embarrassing amount of time languishing on the couch like a beached whale. I think the atmosphere in my house must be growing thicker, or something. What else could explain the feeling that my feet are trudging through sticky mud all day?

So I have now resigned myself to a difficult conclusion --- My Almighty List may never be finished.

Yes, it is good to chip away at it a bit every day. At the same time, our precious babe will arrive whenever she is ready --- whether or not my list is completed. The final weeks of pregnancy are not a time to be stressing over odd jobs!

I think I am okay with that.

But maybe I have time to squeeze in just one more tiny job before bed. It would sure feel good to cross off another item from my list.

Special Delivery

On Saturday night I decided to get a jump start on my Father's Day shopping. I figured I should plan ahead --- we may be having a new baby in the next couple of weeks.

I surfed online to one of my husband's favourite sites and selected my purchases. With a few clicks of the mouse I was done. I love internet shopping!

On Monday morning I received an e-mail verifying my order had been shipped from the States.

On Tuesday afternoon the doorbell rang.

"Somebody's here!!! Mommy, Mommy!" my preschooler shouted as he ran down the hall. Any visitor at our door is a big event.

A delivery man in a yellow uniform handed me a rectangular box. My boys watched, transfixed, as I signed the touch screen and received my parcel.

"What is that, Mommy?" asked my three-year-old.

"It's Daddy's Father's Day present," I replied vaguely. (I have learned that my young man is not trustworthy secret-keeper.) I walked upstairs with the intention of hiding the box away, unopened.

"But, Mommeeeee," my son complained when I saw I didn't intend to open the package, "you need to open it!"

"Why?" I asked, "it's a surprise."

"No it's not," he countered, "it's a pizza!!"

I then realized that the only delivery men my son had ever met at our door came bearing pizza. He (reasonably) assumed that the cardboard box I held in my hand contained only one thing --- a tasty pizza pie.

I could see my little man was rapidly heading towards a meltdown. How could his mommy hide a pizza from him?!

I did the first thing I could think of ... I let him sniff the box. For a long time.

He took in long draughts of cardboard and ink, and was finally satisfied that the package indeed did not conceal deep dish goodness.

Crisis averted.

And now a terrific Father's Day present is safely hidden away until June 18th. I wonder if I can find a pizza box to wrap it in ....

Verbal Prowess

Every mommy believes her child is a genius, right?

Today as I strapped my 18-month-old into his car seat he spotted a doggie walking down the sidewalk. He then said his first intelligible sentence:

"I see a puppy!"

Yup. My child is brilliant :-).

My Nickname

This morning I sat at the breakfast table with my two little boys. They consumed vast quantities of toast slathered with strawberry jam and sliced cheese. Between bites, my preschooler proclaimed:

"I love you Mommy! You are yummy. You are Yummy Mommy!"

It made my day.

And my charming little boy received a big kiss on his sweet, sticky face.

Perfect Parents Don't Exist

I'm sure it was a conspiracy.

Can you see it? A group of young boys huddle together in the preschool Sunday School class. They quietly whisper, concocting a devious plan ...

"Burger King! Burger King!" Their chant soon becomes a roar. The hapless parents are inexplicably drawn into the plot. Three innocent families convoy by minivan from the "House of the Lord" to the "House of the King".

The moms sit and chat at the table, nibbling french fries and sipping iced tea. Their husbands corral rowdy young men in the Play Place. A persistent, grating scream echoes from within the play area. Its source is an over-tired little girl.

"What a horrible sound," the moms whisper among themselves, "Why doesn't her mother take her home for a nap?"

"That kid is driving us nuts!" the men complain, "We can hardly hear ourselves think." The dads congratulate themselves on how well-behaved their children are.

To the relief of everyone, the mom and the tired toddler eventually exit the restaurant.

One of the men comes out to check on the ladies and steal french fries. He relates the Saga of the Screaming Toddler in the Play Place, finishing his tale with the following statement:

"And we guys decided to call ourselves The Perfect Parents, because our kids are being so good."

.....

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." (Proverbs 16:18)

.....

A young boy exits the Play Place to check on the ladies and steal french fries. He spends ten minutes chatting with his mom, entertaining the table with preschool antics. Finally he announces, "I want to go back and play now."

His mom escorts him to the play area. At the sight of the boy, his father's cheeks blanch.

"Ummm ... was he out there with you guys?" the dad asks.

"Well sure," his mom replies, "Didn't you notice?"

"Well, we just thought he was playing at the top of the slide for a while. We hadn't seen him for a few minutes ... "

"Ahhh. I can certainly see how you earned your status of Perfect Parent," the mom says as she gently closes Play Place door.

Sweet, sweet revenge.

Feeling Hedgie

I would like to introduce one of the smallest members of our family. Her name is Percival, and she lives a quiet life in our basement. Percival is an African Pygmy hedgehog.

Our hedgehog is almost five years old. We bought her for Christmas a couple of years into our marriage. That year I gave my husband an ultimatum: "I would like a baby or a puppy"... Ben came home with a prickly hedgehog.

Interestingly enough, our first son was born about a year later.

Percival has proven to be an interesting pet. Hedgehogs tend to be very quiet. On occasion, our hedgie will emit cute squeaks and whistles. They are also quite timid. When a hedgehog feels threatened it will roll into a tight ball and bare its quills. It will also hiss and make a throaty "rrrrrrr" sound. However, when Percival feels safe her quills lay flat and soft, and it she will expose her curious, furry face.

In some ways I feel a kinship to my prickly pet. Sometimes I face situations where I wish I could roll into a tight ball and hiss, "Go away!". I have struggled with being timid most of my life. As an adult I have learned some coping mechanisms to deal with my shyness. At the same time, it is a daily struggle to reach out and engage with other people.

I have come to realize that God, in His wisdom, has made my nature quiet and introspective. There is nothing wrong with being introverted. At the same time, God has not given me a spirit of fear. The Bible says that "... perfect love drives out fear" (1 John 4:18).

So here is my secret. When I feel too shy to phone up a friend or go out to a party, I take my eyes off of myself and set my focus on other people. I call my friend and ask how she is doing, or I go to the party and make conversation centered on other people's interests. I try to think less of myself and more of others.

At times I know I still come across as "prickly", but I am working on it. Percival has been a good mentor for me. My hedgehog has taught me that I can learn to let my quills down, and I can expose myself to others.

And if nothing else, having a hedgehog for a pet is a great conversation starter!

Reading List

Curious about the pile of books on my bedside table? At the moment I have a rather large selection of library books at home. I am so tired these days, I spend most nights curled up with a good book (or flipping between two or three).

Here is a sampling of my current reading list:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
Ina May Gaskin

Birth Without Violence
Frederick Leboyer

Ten Minutes from Normal
(an autobiography)
Karen Hughs

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
Tracy Hogg

The New Experience of Childbirth
Sheila Kitzinger

Creative Correction
Lisa Welchel

A Name of Her Own
(fiction)
Jane Kirkpatrick

Return
(fiction)
Karen Kingsbury with Gary Smalley

Tender Words

This morning I stood before my bedroom mirror applying my makeup. My three-year-old son played with toys at my feet. His attention was especially fixed on a small stuffed lamb. I discreetly eavesdropped as he had an imaginary conversation with the small toy. It went something like this:

" You are such a cute baby lamb. I love you so much. You are so little and pretty. I will always take care of you and love you. And I will protect you from bad robots. If any bad robots come I will fight them with my light sabre and I will cut off their heads. I love you, little lamb."

Tender words from a three-year-old boy ... a boy who has been watching too many Star Wars movies with his daddy, methinks.

Auto Pilot

Today I officially entered the "brainless" stage of late pregnancy.

I had my regularly scheduled piano lesson at nine o'clock. I have driven to the mini-mall where the music school is located countless times. This morning I backed the van out of the garage, pulled out of our condominium complex, and drove away. Only after several minutes did I realize that I was travelling in the opposite direction of the piano studio.

I sheepishly arrived a few minutes late for my lesson.

Thrill of the Hunt

Like many women, I like to shop. I enjoy the "thrill of the hunt" --- finding a great deal or a unique item. However, I don't particularly enjoy cruising the mall and spending oodles of money.

Here is my secret. One of the places I love to shop is not fancy or extravagant, but it is fun and inexpensive. My favourite store is Value Village --- "The Thrift Department Store". The store is kind of cheesy, and there is a lot of junk to sort through, but I have found many treasures at Value Village.

Last night I decided to use some of my "me time" to go browsing through Value Village. I came home with a big bag of treasure for my family. Here are some of my best finds:

- Black, silky golf shirt for Ben from Banana Republic ($7)

- Short-sleeved button-up shirt for Ben from Eddie Bauer ($6)

- Cute, girly sleeper for the baby from Gymboree ($4)

- White, western-style blouse for me from the Gap ($5)

- Red sundress with buttons down the front (for nursing) from April Cornell ($12)

I also found a few more items, and my total came to $60. Not bad! Some of the articles, such as Ben's Banana Republic shirt or my April Cornell dress, would be at least $60 new. I feel my hunt was successful, and it was definitely fun!

The Gift of Solitude

My husband is wonderful.

For Mother's Day this year he has given me a unique gift. Tomorrow night I am going away, all by myself, for a night at a hotel. I can do whatever I want --- swim in the pool, watch movies, read, eat room service, have a bubble bath, or sleep for as long as I wish without interruptions.

Ahhhh. Bliss.

My dear husband is a man who knows his wife. I am the type of person who needs quiet and solitude to "recharge my batteries". When I have free time I generally prefer activities I do on my own. My Benjie has chosen the perfect Mother's day gift.

This will be hard to top next month for Father's Day ... I might be able to come up with a special delivery for him, though. Maybe my husband would like a new daughter as his Father's Day gift :-).

Window Washing

I was standing at the bathroom sink pouring a bucket of grungy, brown water down the drain. I rinsed the scum from the bottom of the pail and turned my attention to the cleaning rag. It was a tattered piece of terry cloth. What once was a pretty pink towel was now stained a muddy, gray colour. My rag was filthy. Good for nothing. It was too dirty to even be useful for cleaning. As much as I tried, I could not rinse the stains from the cloth.

I was reminded of the following verse:

All of us are like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags...
Isaiah 64:6

I could scrub forever, but my dirty cleaning rag would never become the rosy pink towel it once was. In the same way, nothing I can do in my own power can make me clean before God. My attempts at righteousness are like grungy, disgusting rags. As much as I try, my mucky attempts at earning God's favour are totally worthless.

If I were to continue using my yucky cloth to wash windows, the glass would come out streaked and cloudy. Window washing requires a clean cloth and clear water. If I want to truly reflect God's grace in my life, I cannot continue to rely on my own righteousness. I must let God wash me by the power of His grace.

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior
Titus 3: 5-6

This is what is so amazing: God knows that I am gross, dirty and disgusting. He sees my every blemish and fault. He knows every sin I've ever committed. My feeble attempts at righteousness are like limp, smelly rags before Him. But He loves me anyway. Extravagantly. Abundantly. Through Jesus my sins are washed away.

Though I don't deserve it, Christ has washed me whiter than snow (Psalm 51:7). As I daily submit to God, I pray that I will become a tool He can use. I pray that the window of my life will clearly reflect His love and mercy. And I thank God every day for the wonderful gift of grace He has given me.

Tiny Hiccups

I believe the little one in my womb is a thumb-sucker. She has the hiccups three or four times most days. Right now she is jump, jump, jumping in my belly like a little rhythmic drum.

The Joy of Work

The other day I brought home a library book for my children entitled Just Plain Fancy by Patricia Polacco. I was drawn to the book because it is about an Amish family. I have long been fascinated by the Amish way of life (but no, I do not secretly yearn to be Amish). I also very much enjoy reading Beverley Lewis' Lancaster County novels.

Let me share the opening lines of Just Plain Fancy:

Kaleb and his two daughters hurried along Lancaster County Road in their buggy. Cars whizzed by them, but they paid no mind. Clop, clop, clop went the horse's hooves on the pavement.

"Papa," Naomi asked, "why don't we have a car like the English?"

"It is not our way, child. We are in no hurry," he said as he drew up the reins and slowly directed the horse into their farmyard.

... "We are in no hurry." When was the last time I heard someone say that? Our modern society is always in a rush. People have places to go and things to accomplish. We have so much work to do, and so little time to cram it all in.

Or so the lie goes.

How often do people talk about slowing down, about finding joy in work? I would think that the Amish are some of the hardest working people in the world. Yet, their society does not operate at the frenzied pace of ours. What is their secret?

I would venture to say that our society has a warped view of work. I think many people see work as an unpleasant part of life --- work must be endured until it is time to play. However, I do not think this is a Biblical view. I believe God has given us work as a gift, and that He expects us to find joy and satisfaction in the very act of working.

God even assigned work to Adam in the Garden of Eden:

The Lord took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
Genesis 2:15

Yes, we enjoy the rewards of our hard work. I am not negating the satisfaction of a job well done. At the same time, I believe God would want us to be full of joy as we perform every task throughout the day --- whether or not we expect to see a "reward" for our efforts.

It has been almost a year since I brought home a pay cheque for my family. Even though I am not reimbursed monetarily, my days are filled with work. Most of the time my work goes unnoticed. And I will admit, I often crave recognition for the things I accomplish. At the same time, I have committed to becoming a more grace-full woman, as described in Proverbs 31.

Therefore, I try to take joy in everything I do during the day --- whether it is washing the dishes, changing diapers, balancing the books, or reading to my boys. I choose to slow down and enjoy my work.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3: 23-24

Slowing Down

Wednesday night is my "sacred gym night". I always go to the gym on Wednesday night, unless I am prevented by life-threatening illness or a natural disaster. Lately my workouts have not been terribly taxing --- floating in the pool, walking around the track, or pedalling the recumbent bike --- but I still make the effort to go.

I have a confession to make.

I didn't go to the gym tonight.

I feel a little guilty.

I have six weeks to go until Baby arrives, and my body is telling me it is time to slow down. I am tired all the time, and exhausted when I am not tired. This pregnancy has mostly been a breeze. However, any normal woman is tired by this point in the third trimester.

To pacify my guilt, this evening I took my 18-month-old on a slooooow walk to the mailbox. We stopped to look at every bug and blade of grass, and to pet a friendly puppy. I held his chubby little hand in mine as he carefully toddled along beside me.

It was a lovely way to get my exercise.

Kamikaze

Yesterday morning dawned bright and sunny. I loaded my boys into their red Radio Flyer wagon and we embarked on the epic journey to the park. (Maybe less than epic ... it is only one block away).

As we crossed the street and the playground came into view, my toddler loudly exclaimed, "Side! Side!" (Translation: "Slide! Slide!") He is a man who knows what he likes.

We pulled up to the park bench. I released the boys from their seat belts. My preschooler dumped out his bag of shovels and began industriously digging in the gravel. He tends to be a fairly cautious boy, and enjoys playing in the sand more than climbing on the jungle gym. I was momentarily distracted watching my young man dig dirt.

I looked up. In the span of approximately three seconds, my 18-month-old had already monkeyed his way to the top level of the playground. He was preparing to hurl himself head-first down the twisty, yellow slide.

I ran as fast as my bulky body would carry me shouting, "No, no, no! Wait!". But it was too late. I stood helplessly as "Mr. Fearless" leaped from the platform. His little body careened down the slide at a crazy angle. I thought I heard a thump as he slid to the bottom.

I gasped.

He giggled.

"Side!" he exclaimed.

I may have to buy that boy a leash.

Mission Accomplished (Almost)

Last weekend Ben and I shipped our young ones off to Grandma and Grandpas' for a night. We intended to use our kid-free time to redecorate the boys' bedroom. We figured it was a two-day project, tops.

Right.

Why do home renovation projects always take longer than you plan for them to?

We finally moved the boys into their newly decorated bedroom last night (as in nine days after we started). They temporarily shared the baby's bedroom last week, and we had random toys and books stored all over the hallway. To tell the truth, it was not as chaotic as it sounds. All the same, I am very glad to have our everything back to normal today.

Here is what I have learned from our little home improvement project:

Yellow is a very transparent paint colour. When the instructions say tinted primer recommended, use the tinted primer!

Paint needs to cure for at least three days before you can paste wallpaper over it.

Don't let a toddler help you to pull the masking tape off of the base boards.

Finally, buy more wallpaper border than you think you will need. I bought two rolls of border that should have just covered the perimeter of the room. I overlooked one tiny detail, though. We needed to match the pattern going around the corners. Needless to say, I've ordered a third roll of wallpaper. It will arrive in a couple of weeks, and until then I will have to ignore the 20" gap in the border beside the window.

Live and learn, live and learn.

(Otherwise, the room looks very cute).

Dream Land

This morning we drove home from church in our minivan. As we travelled down the road, enjoying the sunshine, our three-year-old entertained us with the following tale:

"Four years ago I had a dream. I was singing the Bob the Builder song. There was a cephalopod ... no ... a jelly fish with me. He was singing Bob the Builder too. I was standing on top of the jelly fish. The tops don't sting you, only the tentacles do. It was not a bad dream. It was a good dream."

Interesting.

I'm fairly certain he got the jelly fish part from Finding Nemo. Bob the Builder is my preschooler's favourite cartoon character. He can sing the theme song by heart. But to relate the two together? ... The mind of a three-year-old works in mysterious ways!

Prenatal Supplements

This is my third pregnancy. I believe it has been the best of all three. Unfortunately, in the first trimester I was quite nauseous and sick. Since eleven weeks, though, I have been feeling mostly healthy and energetic.

I suspect there are several reasons why this pregnancy is going so well. All three of my pregnancies have been fairly easy and complication-free. However, I have done a few things differently this time around.

From the beginning of this pregnancy I have been taking three new supplements. One I decided to take after researching it myself, and two were suggested by my midwife:

Alfalfa -- 2, 650mg tablets, 3x a day (breakfast, lunch and supper)

I can't say enough about the difference alfalfa has made in this pregnancy. In my past pregnancies I suffered from severe heart burn. I would take up to 12 extra-strength Tums per day. The problem with taking so many antacids was that my body could not absorb iron properly. I became very tired and anemic. Alfalfa has cut down my heart burn tremendously. I sometimes still suffer from heart burn, but now I only might take one Tums before bed.

As well, alfalfa is very good at promoting regularity. I had some trouble in this area with my first two pregnancies, but have had no problems this time.

Further, alfalfa is full of Vitamin K. This vitamin is important for blood clotting. I have noticed that I have fewer bruises lately than I usually do. (Being the mother of small boys can be hazardous!) My midwife also tells me that I will likely experience less postpartum blood loss because my Vitamin K levels will be high.

Soy Lecithin --- 2, 1200mg capsules, 2x a day (breakfast and supper)

My midwife suggested I take these capsules to help with sciatic pain in my hip. In my last pregnancy I found the sciatic pain to be quite debilitating, and even resorted to taking Tylenol at times. This pregnancy I am considerably more comfortable. Sometimes my hip is sore, but for the most part I am pain-free. I believe the combination of soy lecithin and gentle stretching in the swimming pool have made a difference.

Omega-3 --- 1, 720mg capsule, once a day (breakfast)

My midwife also suggested I take fish oil capsules. Omega-3 fatty acids are needed for the baby's neurological development. As well, my midwife believes omega-3 helps to stabilize mood swings and crazy pregnancy emotions. I suspect the fish oil promotes bowel regularity. Omega-3 fatty acids seem to be a popular supplement these days.

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea --- 2 cups a day

This is a supplement I have used in the past. Raspberry leaf tea is a good uterine tonic. With all my pregnancies I have had strong pre-labour Braxton Hicks contractions. I wonder if the raspberry tea has strengthened the contractions, so I have decided this time not to drink it until after 36 weeks.

I believe no supplement can replace proper nutrition and exercise. However, in combination with a healthy diet, supplements can be useful. I believe alfalfa, soy lecithin and omega-3s have made a difference in my third pregnancy.

Fast and Easy Supper Recipe

Here's an easy recipe for those nights you are in a hurry. The ingredients are all things you are likely to keep in your pantry. My kids love any recipe that involves pasta. Add a green salad and you can serve your family a nutritious, economical meal!

Creamy Salmon Pasta with Vegetables
(from Canadian Living Magazine, February 2005)

4 C. fusilli (about 12 oz. uncooked)
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cans (7.5 oz each) salmon, drained
1/2 C. chicken stock
1/4 C. light mayonnaise
1 tsp. grated lemon rind
1 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tbsp. Dijon mustard
1/4 C. minced fresh parsley
1/4 tsp. each salt and pepper
2 C. frozen mixed vegetables

In large pot of boiling salted water, cook fusilli until tender but firm, about 10 minutes. Reserving 1 C. of the cooking liquid, drain and return to pot.

Meanwhile, in skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat; saute onion and garlic until softened, about 4 minutes. Add to pasta.

Meanwhile, in food processor or blender, pulse 1 can of the salmon. Add stock, mayonnaise, lemon rind and juice, mustard, half of the parsley, the salt and pepper; pulse until smooth. Scrape over pasta mixture.

Add remaining can of salmon, frozen vegetables and reserved cooking liquid to pasta mixture; heat through, gently tossing to combine. Sprinkle with remaining parsley.

Makes 4 servings.

Grumpy Bumpy Days

Some days are harder than others.

My toddler celebrated his 18-month birthday on Monday. On Tuesday we took him to the public health clinic for his immunizations. Unfortunately, my little boy has not been his usual sunny self since then. His arms are red and swollen at the injection sites, he has been sleeping poorly, and he's been running a slight fever. All of this is normal after receiving immunizations, but that doesn't make it any less fun.

Add an increasingly tired and enormous mommy, a needy preschooler, an insanely busy husband, and a weekend renovation project that has stretched all week into the mix. Now things are getting interesting!

I lift my eyes to the hills ---
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
(Psalm 121: 1)

I am far from perfect. I lose my cool just like anyone else. In fact, I seem to have more "grumpy bumpy" days the bigger my belly grows! However, I am attempting to learn from my experiences and to check my attitude. Every time I feel like losing my temper I take a deep breath and ask, "What is God asking me to learn from this?"

To quote Dr. James Dobson, "Parenting is not for cowards!" Each day I pray that God can use my time in the "parenting trenches" to mold me into a stronger, wiser woman of God. When I am feeling low and beaten, I cling to the following scripture:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)

Why Pudding is Perfect!

Pudding is an almost perfect dessert. It is fast and easy to prepare, I can make it for my whole family for less than $1, and it comes in lots of yummy flavours. Pudding is even nutritious! When I make it with skim milk, our pudding is low in fat and high in calcium. (Aha! I can be sneaky about feeding my kids healthy foods!)

Who wouldn't love such a perfect dessert?

Grocery Shopping With Little Ones

It's every parent's nightmare.

You are in the middle of a gargantuan shopping trip with Junior riding in the front of the grocery cart. Your little passenger decides he is bored (or tired or hungry or angry or whatever). He proceeds to throw a monumental "wobbly" in the middle of the cereal aisle. You still have half of your list left! What do you do? What if you have more than one cranky "Junior" along for the ride? Should you abandon your half-full grocery cart in the middle of the store and make a run for it? Should you smile sweetly, ignore your little barbarian, and continue shopping?

I take my two little boys grocery shopping at Superstore every week. We've certainly had our share of dicey shopping expeditions. However, these days grocery shopping is more of a pleasure than a chore. My boys actually behave most days in the store! Here are my hints for a successful shopping expedition:

1. Prepare a detailed, organized list the night before you shop.
I keep a running list of things I need. Throughout the week I add to my list. I also plan menus for all the next week's upcoming meals. The night before our shopping trip I write up a master list -- it has categories for items according to where they are located in Superstore. I find it only takes 5-10 minutes to organize my list, but it saves me a great deal of time in the long run.

2. Choose a weekly "shopping day".
I go grocery shopping once every seven days. Lately, my shopping day has been Thursday. (I find the store is less busy and the shelves are well-stocked on Thursdays). When I go shopping regularly I can get everything I need in one trip, it does not take too long, it is easier to track our weekly budget, and I do not run out of staple items between trips.

3. Choose a favourable, consistent time of day to shop.
I always take my boys grocery shopping in the morning. We leave right after breakfast dishes are cleaned up and arrive at the store by about 10am. My children are usually at their best in the mornings and the store is the least busy.

4. Keep the trip as short as possible.
My goal is to be in and out of the grocery store in less than an hour. If I have well-organized list, I can often be done in 45 minutes.

5. Feed your children before you go!
I always feed my boys a substantial, protein-laden breakfast on grocery shopping day (something like scrambled eggs or toast with peanut butter). My kids will burn off the energy from a quick bowl of cereal long before we are finished our shopping! As well, Mommy needs to eat a big breakfast too!

6. Make the trip "special" in some way.
When we go grocery shopping I allow my children to bring their "nanks" into the store. This is the only time they are allowed to have their blankies in a public place. They snuggle their "nanks" and are quiet and calm while I shop.

7. Set out your rules and expectations before you enter the store.
Before we get out of the van in the store parking lot, I talk to my children about how "good boys" behave in Superstore. I lay out my expectations for their behavior. They know what the rules are before we ever step foot into the store.

8. Reward good behavior.
My boys know that if they are good throughout the entire shopping trip, Mommy will buy a box of Smarties or Glossette Raisins at the checkout. They are allowed to share some of the candies as a special treat at lunch time. (I personally think they have more fun shaking the candies in the box than eating them, though!) The treat is not automatic every trip. If they do not behave, I will not buy them a box of candies.

9. Dress for success!
It may sound cheesy, but I think grocery shopping is easier when I feel good about how I look. I always dress nicely, do my makeup and hair, and try to walk with confidence. I make sure my boys look neat and tidy too.

10. Don't expect perfection.
Sometimes, despite the best preparation, my children still lose control in the grocery store. If they are being truly awful, I may leave the half-full cart at customer service and take them to the van for a time-out. This is very inconvenient, but it teaches my boys that Mommy is in charge and poor behavior is not tolerable. And I check my attitude on good days, too. I do not want to become prideful when my boys are behaving like angels! I could easily be the mom pushing a cart full of screaming children!

Grocery shopping with little children need not be a dreadful experience. When I am organized and prepared, my children are fueled-up and well-rested, and I consistently shop on the same morning of the week, grocery shopping is often a pleasure!

Homemaking 101

About three years ago I set a personal goal for myself. I decided that I would "go into training" to become the best homemaker I could be. I figured that if I spent five years in university earning my degree, then I had the research skills and smarts to now pursue my MHM (Masters in Home Management).

So I started studying. I've read thousands of articles in magazines and online. I've borrowed many books from the library. I have intentionally formed friendships with women who I admire. I also started having babies! There is nothing more motivating than being forced to learn on the job!

How am I doing? I am learning that I have a lot more to learn.

Every day I am presented with new challenges, but I'm enjoying my journey. I truly feel that I am where God would have me to be. I'm very content. I have a beautiful home, a loving husband, wonderful kids, good friends and family, and a bright future. I praise God for the life He has blessed me with!

Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways.
You will eat the fruit of your labour;
blessings and prosperity will be yours.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
your sons will be like olive shoots round your table.
Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord.
(Psalm 128:1-4)